WOMAN
After church service on Sunday a brother begged me a ride back into town and I made to say NO! But he quickly said pleaseeeeee! I had no choice but to give him the ride, worried or rather uncomfortable I didn't want to take him in my car, he asked why and I simply said oh...sorry I don't give men rides. To affirm that I picked three other ladies and politely said no to the men who rushed at my car obviously to be given lifts too.
Then the drama ensued, what were my reasons for picking only women...wait...wait for it! Don't judge me yet! Am not a lesbian or a radical feminist. Eventhough I buy into the whole woman empowerment movement. I rather I call myself a womanist. Womanism is feminism in the African context: The belief in marriage, childbirth, family and yet pursue a course "career". No lectures here...and don't check the dictionary cause you won't find the word "Womanism".
I started by explaining how I just feel compassion for women especially those with children and having to race after cars for lifts. Men have more energy and have more enduring willpower compared to women. Jokingly, I said nature and the world is not fair to women, and that changed the topic as the brother is now crying foul! "What do you mean by that" Woman practically rule the world and blah blah blah...a typical man talking...yea I know!
Now back to nature and the world not being fair to women. We live in a world where women walk in the shadows of men...thank God that is gradually changing... Its like a vicious cycle, from child bearing a woman is expected to have a male child as her first fruit "heir apparent" the call it (bullshit). Its a taboo or a sign of bad leg in marriage (African belief) if she bares a girl child as her first. Male child signifies power for the man, he is well praised by the society who is in support of this gender disparity.
Then she grows older and is expected to get married at a certain age (25-30) most likely. In some parts, even earlier. Now at this age its considered over ambitious for her to pursue career over marriage else the society maligns her with all sorts of name. She grows above this society and nature placed age limits, she is then considered old and un-marriageable. Nature placed: because science has in its record that women who marry early and conceive early too, are likely to have less complications during child birth. They have more healthy children as against the latter who is likely to have complications and may have children with down syndrome, fibroids cases, early meno-pause, infant mortality and alot more associated with late marriage. Then she gets married and again the society expects her to have a male child as her first. The cycle continues!
On and on we went, talking on other issues affecting women with the other ladies with me in the car joining in the conversation and ofcourse he agreed with some of the arguments.
Finally with every rule comes an exception!
Then the drama ensued, what were my reasons for picking only women...wait...wait for it! Don't judge me yet! Am not a lesbian or a radical feminist. Eventhough I buy into the whole woman empowerment movement. I rather I call myself a womanist. Womanism is feminism in the African context: The belief in marriage, childbirth, family and yet pursue a course "career". No lectures here...and don't check the dictionary cause you won't find the word "Womanism".
I started by explaining how I just feel compassion for women especially those with children and having to race after cars for lifts. Men have more energy and have more enduring willpower compared to women. Jokingly, I said nature and the world is not fair to women, and that changed the topic as the brother is now crying foul! "What do you mean by that" Woman practically rule the world and blah blah blah...a typical man talking...yea I know!
Now back to nature and the world not being fair to women. We live in a world where women walk in the shadows of men...thank God that is gradually changing... Its like a vicious cycle, from child bearing a woman is expected to have a male child as her first fruit "heir apparent" the call it (bullshit). Its a taboo or a sign of bad leg in marriage (African belief) if she bares a girl child as her first. Male child signifies power for the man, he is well praised by the society who is in support of this gender disparity.
Then she grows older and is expected to get married at a certain age (25-30) most likely. In some parts, even earlier. Now at this age its considered over ambitious for her to pursue career over marriage else the society maligns her with all sorts of name. She grows above this society and nature placed age limits, she is then considered old and un-marriageable. Nature placed: because science has in its record that women who marry early and conceive early too, are likely to have less complications during child birth. They have more healthy children as against the latter who is likely to have complications and may have children with down syndrome, fibroids cases, early meno-pause, infant mortality and alot more associated with late marriage. Then she gets married and again the society expects her to have a male child as her first. The cycle continues!
On and on we went, talking on other issues affecting women with the other ladies with me in the car joining in the conversation and ofcourse he agreed with some of the arguments.
Finally with every rule comes an exception!
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